© Sex And The City Episode 50, The Real Me
Written by: Jehan Daal
Bloopers and Jehan are an unusual combination, but when I make mistakes they are huge. I would like to share two mistakes that I made years and years ago.
My brothers are playing outside. I am in my room. I hear the doorbell. I go downstairs and open the door. It is one of the twins, he needs to pee. “Where is your key?” He forgot to take it, but he promises me to take it with him on the way out.
Within fifteen minutes I hear the doorbell again. I go downstairs and open the door for the second time. It is the other one, who needs to pee. I tell him to take his key with him. I’m not planning on walking the stairs up and down to open doors, because they are too lazy to take their keys with them. The third time, I’m annoyed, but open the door anyway.
Then it is time to come home for dinner. The doorbell again. Those little rascals! Pay back time! It is dark outside. I get down on my knees and crawl to the front door. With one hand I open the door while I imitate a beast and roar. I hear a scream, but it is not the voice of the twins. It is someone else. He looks like he can faint any moment. I instantly become serious and tell him: “not to worry I thought it was one of my brothers.”
He didn’t think it was funny.
I remember my first brown heels. They are the highest heels I ever walked on at that point. But you understand that it is necessary if you know how tall I am. Anyway. Anyone I pass, tells me that I am walking on really high heels. I smile. Well I am aware of that, but thanks anyway.
“How can you walk on those things?”
“Just like I walk on every other shoe.”
Time to go home. I am on the bus. Sitting on the special 4-seats area. With my back to the front side of the bus, just the way I like it. A woman gets on the bus and decides to sit on the opposite seat. I do not know why, since there is enough space to sit elsewhere. She stretches her legs and puts them on the seat next to me. Ah, now I know why she wants to sit here.
Time to get off. It is like the bus driver did not see the bus stop. I lift my feet over the lady her legs, because I need to remind the driver of the bus stop. At that exact moment the driver hits the brake. I am out of balance and I fall with my face into the lady her lap.
“O my god are you okay?”
Everyone on the bus is staring at me. I get up and put my poker face on.
“Thank you very much for catching me.”
While getting off the bus I wave at the bus driver. “Have a nice weekend, all of you!”
I stand by the bus stop. When the bus is out of sight I start to laugh.
Now it is time to tell me about your bloopers.