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Written by: Jehan Daal
Becoming a leader someday, a lot of people dream about it. Quite frankly most of them are not suited for the job. Remember secondary school, where some bright teachers could not control their students? I remember my chemistry teacher Mr. De Groot (Mr. Big in English ha ha). When he walked into the room, we all became quiet.
If you ask me, leaders are chosen. It is someone with a natural ability to lead a team, because the team accepts it to be led by that person. A great leader does not have to be loud, he does not suppress you, you respect him and follow his approach because you believe that with this person goals will be reached.
I love to observe group dynamics. Okay I am a communication dude, I got it. Anyway I love to watch The Apprentice UK where 16 candidates battle to get a 250.000 pounds of investment from Lord Sugar to start their own business. (They say Britain’s most clever ones, sometimes I seriously doubt that and I sincerely hope that they are wrong about that.)
In a nutshell: They are divided into two teams and have to do marketing and sales tasks. The teams battle against each other and in the losing team, someone will get fired. The last four get some gruelling interviews and Lord Sugar decides who is the winner.
Every week there are people fighting to become the team leader. Even after nine seasons you see the same behavior. People who think that great leadership means that you can boss everyone around, humiliate the others and blame the quiet people when the team loses the task. Let me tell you something: in all those years some shrewd and loud persons may have made it into the final, but they never won.
A great leader does not have to be loud, nor suppress you…
Back to my life. A friend of mine wanted to organize a get together with her friends, so her friends could all get to know each other. A great idea. She created a group on WhatsApp and invited all her friends. One of her friends, let’s call him B, called her at work and was very enthusiastic. “I know you are busy, I got this.”
This friend B. decided himself to be the leader. It turned out that most of the people have not heard of B. before. B decided to pick a date himself, gave us three options for a destination and got irritated when the response was almost zero. But he forgot to set a deadline! He asked if we knew some great activities for that day, but had a comment on the ideas. You know what, go find yourself some other slaves. That was when people started to leave the conversation, including me. I was no longer up for this.
“Who does he think he is? He is the bossiest person I ever met.” Some people said to me.
When everything fell apart, he decided to quit and was very disappointed. He did not understand what happened. Being enthusiastic, did that turn into a crime?
A lot went wrong, but it al started with one key question: “who the hell are you and who made you boss?”