Written by: Jehan Daal
I believe that every company has at least one of them: a horrible colleague. And this former colleague of mine, let’s call him Georgio Armani, is one of them. Let me introduce you to Georgio.
Nickname: Georgio Armani
Appearance: A short, slim man, who misses two fingers.
Lives in: One of the most expensive villages in the Netherlands.
Drives a: Car who looks gold. Thinks that will give his status, but most people call it a pimp car.
Frustrations: He works at the company for many many many years and still he is no board member.
Is happy when he: Makes you feel worthless, makes you cry/scream, makes you do stupid things out of anger.
So him: He complains when a colleague brings him coffee: too cold, it tastes strange or you stir the spoon in the wrong direction. (I know, don’t even say it.) He secretly parks on the board member parking space, but only when they are not at the office. Makes clicking sounds when he feels important. He makes documents of other colleagues disappear.
Georgio Armani VS Me
It is one of those days, where there is no management at the office. We always joke about it and call it an “out of control” day since there is no management to tell us what to do and we are like a ship without crew. Georgio Armani arrives a few hours late and parks his car on the board members parking spot.
“Jehan, I need to talk to you.”
“Morning Georgio. What can I do for you?”
“We need to talk in private. I see you in the directors office in a couple of minutes.”
I have enough on my plate and the last thing I could use right know was a conversation with him. I grab a pen, notebook and go to the directors office.
He closes the door behind me and tells me to sit down.
No way that I would do that. I thank him and inform him that I do not have much time and that I am comfortable standing here. I know exactly why he wants me to sit down, so he can pretend to be the director. He dislikes me. He hates the fact that I’m higher educated, work there for over a year and that I am on the same level in the organization as he is.
He makes clicking sounds with his tongue and presses his lips together afterwards. “I know that you are hired to work 40 hours per week and yes I see you sitting behind the computer, nevertheless I wonder what you do all day. Do you know how long I work at this office? And I see you working your ass off, organizing exhibitions and doing marketing stuff for all the others but me. Especially for Pitbull and the one who just started a couple of months ago.” His face turns red and I hear envy in his voice.
I can tell him that his story is full of contradictions, that he first states that he doesn’t know what I’m doing and then accuses me of working my ass off for anyone but him. I say nothing and keep looking at him. He sees that I am not breaking and he is trying harder to insult me. He watches me closely, waiting till I am going to scream or even better… cry. It always works. Ha, he will not get that from me. He does not know who he is up against. What I will give him is worse.
“Well Georgio. I disagree with you, but apparently you feel this way. I advice you to talk to the director. He and I decided on which markets we should focus this year and I made a budget and marketing plan based on that priority list. If he agrees on more budget for your market, I will be the first one who makes a plan for you. I do not mean to be rude, I really need to go back to work.”
He opens his mouth, but the words will not come out. His face turns so red, I think he is about to explode. I open the door and walk so called relaxed to my desk. I become a “people who hate Georgio his gut” club member. I write an email to a very kind colleague, just to blow of steam. To tell him that suddenly I only think of one song “Man Down” from Rihanna. He laughs and makes the rock sign. I also laugh and feel relaxed again. I look at Georgio, he is not relaxed. He is clearly upset. My kind colleague looks at him and grins. So do I. We know it, I won this battle.
Picture it was you instead of me: what would you have said to Georgio?